Thoughts about time and gratitude.

You know you have finally become an adult, when your to do list keeps getting longer despite working from sun-up to sun-down. It seems like every job I do reminds me of two more I wanted to get done.

I remember being newly married and thinking, "Wow, life just got busier", now that I am a new mother I am having the same thoughts "Wow, life just got busier". Now that I have twins I feel I can say that two times over. Some days I just snuggle my little men and I refuse to feel guilty doing that, but it sure doesn't help the to do list.

Anyone else not have enough time in the day? I'm sure if I asked a room full of people this question everyone would raise their hand. I just looked at the clock and realized it is 4:15 PM. I had to double take because I thought it was 2!

Amazingly I don't feel sorry/bad, or resentful for my responsiblities or chores. I guess that is because my parents taught me to work hard. Both my mom and dad are constantly working. Whether at their job, in their yard, or around the house. It seems like their to do list is just as long as mine. I'm thankful that both Taylor and I have hard working parents who instilled that same work ethic in us.

I'm thankful I have two hands to work with. I'm thankful that my two hands allow me to take care of two of God's children. I know my greatest accomplishment will be them. I'm sure every mother has the same sentiments, but it doesn't make it anyless true for them or me.

This week it seems like I have compared myself to every women out there! I found all sorts of little things to be depressed about that I wasn't doing or accomplishing. It's amazing how all of the little things add up to be big things and suddenly you find yourself crying with an empty box of milk duds. You go to reach for more milk duds and realize they are all gone. This little break in your routine has you wondering where the time went, how you got there, and who has eaten all of your milk duds??? Well my situation didn't happen exactly like this, but I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about!

I find that as I am wallowing in self pity, I have a pop of light. As a mom these pops of light generally come when one of my boys is crying and I go to pick him up and instantly he stops and smiles. At that moment you see it in his eyes that everything will be ok because his mom is there and he is not alone.

Some of us still have earthly parents we can turn to, but most importantly we have a father in heaven who knows us better than anyone else and will not leave us alone. I am especially grateful that I have this knowledge. We are not alone.

Well in the time it took to type this post I thought about 2 other things to add to the list, but I can cross "blog" off. A baby just woke up, and the washer just finished. Time to get back to work.

Twins Blessing

We were able to bless the twins on October 9th. It was such a special day. My aunt and grandma from back east were able to come, not to mention countless other family members. Our family and friends really made it something special! Taylor did a great job with the blessings. He made them different enough, and blessed them with some beautiful things.

October 9th is also my deceased Grandpa's birthday. This along with other things too precious to mention here made the day so special and priceless. Since I can't really explain the day and the feelings I had I will just share pictures.

The 2nd and 3rd pictures are how the day ended...BEST Day ever!

The Good, The Bad, The.... Handsome

The Good:TOO much good to list but all I can says is WOW....I didn't realize how fast your life would go when you live it 3 hours at a time...or in between feedings. I can't believe it has been 3 months since I had the boys. Even though I miss my sleep and my "own" time I love the feeling that comes when I pick up and hold the child that is screaming and comfort him. Almost immediately they calm down. There is nothing like that moment when you see a child calm down because they know their mama has them and everything will be ok. Taylor and I have been blessed with some pretty great boys. Austin will only cry if he is hungry or tired. Stone cries a little more here and there, but by no means is he colicky. Is that even a work colicky?

In the past 3 months Taylor and I have both turned 28. My 10 year high school reunion occurred,and we got all the hospital bills. 2 kids in the NICU for 20 days is not cheap, but because there wasn't anything seriously wrong with them it wasn't as expensive as I thought it would be. Only about 8,000 per day for both of them. T.H.A.N.K. G.O.O.D.N.E.S.S. for good insurance. Summer has completely passed us by. I can't believe it is already October.



The Bad:I have had a handful of days when I have felt so inadequate, and that I am not doing enough or doing this whole parenting thing right. Taylor has come home to find me in tears because of these feelings. It's not post partum depression by any means, but I think it comes from the adjustment of having two little ones. Every parent knows these highs and lows. Poopy diapers and blow outs, enough said. Stone has a little acid reflux. We have medicine now, but it was so sad there for a while when there wasn't anything we could do. These feelings are inevitable. We deal with them and move on. I just have to remember the feelings won't last, and they aren't anything that 10 minutes alone in peace and quiet, and a good diet coke won't fix.


The Handsome:Now time for the beautiful. I decided to take the boys pictures every month in a 12 month onesie so you could see their growth. Here are those pictures.


Funny story about this picture...
I wanted to take the boys 8 week pictures but wanted them to be awake so I decided to take them after their meal. I had just finished feeding the boys and put them in the 12 month onesie when Stone threw up his meal and some of it got on Austin. Apparently Austin didn't like being thrown up on because he decided to join the club and throw up his meal on Stone. I couldn't help but laugh a little and take this picture.

8 week Stone: At the 2 month appointment Stone was 21.25 inches long, and 9lbs 12oz. When Stone was born he was 18.75 inches long, and 4 lbs 11 oz.
Apparently the camera still scares this one a little...



























12 week Stone: Stone has started to turn over. If we put him on his belly he will turn over to his back.





















8 week Austin:At his 2 month check up Austin was 22.7 inches long, and 12lbs. At birth Austin was 19.50 inches long, and 6 lbs 1 oz.




























12 week Austin:Austin has really started to smile this past month.


























Proof of the smiling... We are blessing the boys on October 9th. Please join us! Leave a comment if you would like to come and I will send you the information.

Yes...I play favorites

Yes, I play favorites and here are some of mine...

My new favorite holiday!

My new favorite holiday just happens to be the 4th of July. At 3:22 and 3:23 am we were introduced to the new little men that will change our lives forever.

Stone Lucas Sanderson made his entrance first. He was the reason I went into pre-term labor, but more on that later. Here is the little guy. He weighed 4 pounds 11 ounces, and is 18.25 inches long.



His little "big" brother Austin George Sanderson came into this world at 3:23 am, with a whopping weight of 6 pounds 1 ounce, and 19.50 inches long.





Austin has been here in the NICU at the hospital with me, but Stone had to have a little surgery to fix a minor problem so he is at another hospital.

I am doing great considering everything, and feeing pretty good. The babies are doing great considering they were only 33 weeks! Hopefully we will get to bring both of them home in the next month or so.

They have already changed our lives, and I can't imagine not having them. I love them, I love them, I love them!

Day 4

I thought this was going to be the pregnancy that never ended simply because everything was going so well. I have only gained 16 pounds, I've had low blood pressure, no gestational diabetes, everything was right on track. Well things were going so well that I started joking with my boss that these babies weren't coming early at all. They'd probably come late.

Then Friday came....I had gotten up and started to get ready but I would have to take breaks every 10 minutes or so because I felt winded and my belly started to get hard. I got to work and sat down to start working. The contractions weren't going away. I drank a lot of water and went to the back to lay down. The contractions weren't calming down so I called my doctor. She wanted me to head into the hospital to see what was going on.

Long story short, and three hospital visits later I am on bed rest. I am on day 4 of bed rest and already counting down the days. I wasn't ready for this and feel so helpless. Taylor has been great and really tried to take over everything, but the hardest part is not figuring out what to do with my days but letting someone else take complete care of me and things I feel I should be doing.

Here's to at least 4 more weeks of bed rest.... May it pass quickly!!!

Sneak Peak

Here's what I'm working with...Progress IS being made, despite this big belly trying to hold me back. Once it is all "done" I will post more pictures, but I just wanted to give you a sneak peak!

Also a big thanks to all who pointed out modern looking cribs for cheap. We finally agreed on some, and got a killer deal.

Modern cribs for cheap?

Anyone know where to get a nice modern looking crib that Taylor will think is manly? I'm pretty sure he thinks every crib is girly....and so the search continues...oh did I mention I would like to spend 200 or less? I need to buy 2 so I would be thrilled if I could get one for 200 or less.

On a side note the people I work with like to measure how far my belly sticks out each week. Yesterday was the big day... I am sticking out a whole inch more than I was last week!!!! If I keep this pace up I might be walking on all fours sooner rather than later!

Oh well as long as our boys are healthy and happy I couldn't ask for more!

Twinners

It's official.....Two boys for sure!!!! We saw matching boy parts last Thursday. Oh and another reason to celebrate.....i'm half way to the finish line!!!

Double Trouble

Today we had an ultrasound. Within 5 seconds of starting the ultrasound my doctor said "Well you definately have a boy". Baby A (the sassy one) was spread out showing off his man parts. He was jumping up and down showing off and just loving the attention. Baby B wasn't quite so easy. Baby B was curled up and straddling the umbilical cord. My doctor is pretty sure she saw boy parts, but can't be 100% positive because of the cord.

We'll have another ultrasound in 2 weeks were they will measure everything and make sure the babies formed correctly. Hopefully we will be able to confirm that we are having two boys then.

We are beyond thrilled and excited for this new journey!!

Update and sassy babies

I officially got my letter saying I was accepted to the nursing program. The only problem is classes start August 24th. Now ask me my due date....August 20th....yeah probably not going to happen this semester. I can defer until January but it still makes me a little sad. I am sure once I hold both babies I will feel better about my choice to defer.

Now for sassy baby chat... I am pretty sure I have a little diva already. With pinched nerves and the feeling that my pelvis could fall out at any moment combined with what I can only describe as jabs to the stomach making me run for the bathroom you can almost bet I have a fiery red head forming. Anyone have sassy baby advice?

Here' 1, and Here's 2

I did not start the Nursing program last month. That's ok though. Things have a funny way of working out.

Now on to the story behind the title of this post. I am knocked up.....with TWO babies. Yes, you read that right. Taylor and I will be the proud parents of two new little Sanderson's joining us sometime in the summer. If the babies listen to me then they will be arriving on August 2nd. Of course all children listen to their mother....ha!

Taylor and I had an ultrasound around 6 weeks. Due to my history of an ectopic pregnancy my doctor wanted to check things early and make sure things were where they should be.

The ultrasound tech looked like Thor the Thunder God. Super tall, with shaggy blond hair. His name was Ted though. Ted didn't show us what he was doing with the ultrasound to begin with. He finally showed us after I had to ask him about 15 minutes later. He then proceeded to say "Currently I am looking at your right ovary, but here's one, and here's two.

My only response was "uh...come again." Ted responded calmly "Oh..here's one baby and here's the second, you are pregnant with twins."

I'm pretty sure if Taylor hadn't been sitting down at the time he would have passed out.

We are excited to be on this journey...well we were until I did research on how much car seats, cribs and double strollers were....uh yeah....We'll be taking donations..

All sarcasm aside Taylor and are thrilled, and can't wait to meet the new additions.

Because I'm pregnant with twins I have an ultrasound about every 4 weeks to make sure the babies are growing as they should be. Today baby A had the hiccups and didn't want pictures taken. Sounds like lady drama already...Baby B was just chillin and didn't mind the pictures.....No lady drama with this one.

From the beginning I was convinced this is a boy and a girl. I'll be shocked if it isn't. Hopefully we will know at my next appointment. Here are some pictures from today's ultrasound.




Here's Baby A, not wanting a picture taken.
















Here's Baby B, not minding the pictures.













And here's the two of their heads combined...